VALENTINE IS COMING! (won ti gbe de oo)

           When I was in secondary school, the valentine week used to be very frenzy, exciting and depressing depending on your dating status. You could feel the current in the air and almost touch it. It was the period when the junior student made cool cash and got to be free with their seniors, because almost everyone was happy. Girls were very scared of break ups during this week, it was the most unfortunate and disgraceful thing that could happen to you; for you to get dumped few days before val. It was also the week to ask your crush out! Most girls didn’t want to be without a date on Valentine’s Day.

           It was also the week to be a girl’s hero, any guy who picked up a dumped girl this week was a hero. It was a time to start a war and to end a war. Snatch a boyfriend or a girlfriend and be the villain! It was a period to dare and to be dared. The most popular phrases on February 14th was, ‘won gbe bo’ (they are bringing it) and ‘won ti gbede ooo’ (they have brought it). For a girl who was without a boyfriend, it was a nightmare. It was a very depressing feeling. You would feel unwanted and unneeded. You would feel ugly. If you were not strong, you would do desperate things to get a valentine gift. The final resolute was to buy yourself a present, put a random boy’s name on it and send it back to yourself.

          As I grow older, I found out that the secondary school feeling is not limited there! Grown up men and women, especially women are still crazy and frenzy about Valentine and it breaks my heart to see the length young girls will go and they go to get some gifts on Valentine’s Day. It is no news that many virgins lose their virginity for cheap gifts and boys do the unthinkable to impress the girl they love or lust after. It is sad.
If you are booless or just get dumped, don’t be depressed, be happy. Learn to appreciate yourself and have self-love for yourself. As a girl, once you realize that the goal is not to get a gift from anyone but to get a worthy gift from the person that loves you and you love back, then you will know that there is nothing to be sad or depressed about. For a boy, once you realize a girl who likes you will date you regardless of your pockets capacity, you will stop killing yourself to please a girl.
What baffles me is that people actually want to dedicate one day to show or celebrate love! Love is to be shown and celebrated every day. What confuses me more is that we place the quality of someone’s love for us on the quantity of what we get as gift on February 14th. So far you get a gift, whatever he has done to get you that gift doesn’t matter and whatever you have to give or do to collect a val’s gift is of less importance! That’s sad. All for what? To be able to show off to your friends I gave or got so and so? What is more annoying is that most girls don’t appreciate what they get! They demand and make requests, babes, it’s not your birthday oo, and even if it is, you collect anything you are being given with gratitude!

Your guy has come to spend the whole day with you, rubbing your back and helping you with chores, yet you are unhappy because he didn’t bring you gifts, what can be greater than time shared with your lover? There are so many other ways to show love, not until someone says it with his or her mouth that they love you before you believe it, know it or feel it. The way he smiles at you, the way she encourages you, she gets up to cook for you at 10pm, is that not love? He goes out of his way to get you into a musical concert you want to go, is that not love? She checks on you five times a day with calls and text, no be love? He joins you in the kitchen to make a meal or even make the meal on his own for you, what so it’s not delicious? The earlier you realize the best things of life have no price tags, the better for all of us oo.

Hard work doesn’t kill, work for whatever you need and I promise you someone will come along and give you want you want. Don’t turn your boyfriend into am ATM machine and don’t turn your girlfriend into a slut machine! So if you don’t get anything on Valentine’s Day for whatever reason, don’t grief and don’t be sad! Hangout with people that loves you like family and friends, don’t hang out with people that are in a relationship or in love because it will only make you feel depress, hurt and sad. But if getting a present is so important to you and you don’t have anyone to give you, no problem! Buy what you want and send it back to yourself, simple! Before you know it, it’s February 15th! Remember I love you and I am here for you if you are bored or lonely, I promise. Now that’s a good girl’s point of view from Olatorera, here’s what the QUEEN BITCH thinks!

Do whatever you like oo. That girl wey you don dey eye tay tay wey no give you face come dey ask you for gift or make you be her val, tell am say no problem. Get empty boxes of all shapes and sizes, like five, fill it rubbish, then get beautiful wrapping papers and wrap it. Snap it and send her picture of her ‘vals gift.’ Trust me, she will come over and she will allow you do the do, and then you give her the gifts which are to be opened only when she gets home. Lobatan, you don teach am say awof dey run belle! Next time she will not want to reap where she doesn’t sow.

Babe! He’s been posting you abi? You too go post am. Let him feel he has you, show him extra love before the D-day. If he chooses to take you out, omo, have fun oo, eat and buy as you like. Make out and turn him on, when it is time to go home, escape oo (enroll in BITCH CLASS to know how to escape such situation). If he wants to stay indoors, no wahala. Tell him you are coming oo, you want to cook for him or the gift you ordered from is on the way, sha lie to keep him home. Stand him up too, post him! But only a BITCH or QUEEN BITCH can pull this off.
That being said, I wish you all a good valentine’s day, be happy, love yourself and show love to someone in any way you can. I will be here if you wish to talk. I love you.

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…To be continued…

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 Written and edited by Olatorera 

© 2015 by IBIOLAT communications.